the build up

About 5 weeks ago, I spoke candidly to a fitness trainer friend of mine about issues I was having with my body. I had worried over whether my back was gonna be able to take the long-haul flight and all the walking I'm going to be doing this summer, and toyed with the idea of working out just to strengthen me up a little. But I would always kind of put it down whenever the thought wafted in, mainly because I had been disappointed over most of last year having gone to the chiropractor and seeing no further improvement. I didn't think recovery would be fast.

Due to compounded injuries over the years of dancing, my spine had lost all of the natural curves needed to keep the spine strong. This doesn't sound like much of a problem until I try to do simple things like lie down, lift a weight anything above shoulder height, carry a chubby schnauzer, lift my head off the pillow, walk too much, sling a bag over my shoulder... and not to mention dance. Every pain is exaggerated and has an after effect in which the pain spreads and affects another area if I don't go fix the original problem.

I felt like a walking twig ready to snap the next time I sneezed!

So the goal is to put the curves back in my spine, and everything else will have a chance of righting itself. And there are a few ways of doing this. One of which is chiropractic manipulations, which I now know doesn't work. Another way is to strengthen the muscles such that it holds the spine in the correct shape. I asked my friend if it was reasonable to expect anything out of six weeks of training, and he said he would be glad to help.

So I've been hitting the gym for functional training every Saturday for 5 weeks now. I also train with Pat outside of the Saturday sessions, attacking all the little used but essential muscles. I did not know that there were so many muscles in and around the shoulders!! I also do Pilates once a week with a friend who happened to be earning her hours, so I get to do it for free. and I see an osteopath for extra help.

Here's what's gone down since. :)

Do you see it?? I have a curve in my lower back!! 

Okay I know it doesn't look like a lot, but it says a lot. Pity I didn't have a before picture, but my back pretty much ran ramrod straight down into my butt. Here, you can see my upper back curving away from the lower back. And this is from only 5 weeks of work! 

So ever the ambitious me, I decided that I wanted to be fit enough to dance too since I've finally got A CURVE. I am after all going to be passing through the dance capital of the world. I wanted to be ready, just in case I also got to dance at Bethel. So last weekend, I went swimming on a Friday night. I didn't want to strain my muscles before hitting the gym on Saturday morning but it would be good to get the heart rate going.

I did the crawl through the olympic size pool, going lengthwise. I was halfway through my first lap when I felt like I couldn't finish that one miserable lap. The lactic acid was building up so much and I couldn't seem to stop my heart rate from going crazy. I couldn't regulate my breathing and I was beginning to physically stress out. I had to float in the middle of the pool for a bit before completing the rest of the lap. Finally, my fingers touch the wall on the other side, my lungs deflated. I considered this shameful defeat because I really thought that I could do this. I didn't get into the pool to do one lousy lap! So I made myself do another. 

And it was just as bad.

I lingered at the shallow end talking to myself. "I've got to keep going. 2 laps is pathetic! I've got to work on this. I've got to build myself up."

Then I caught myself. I shall NOT WORK on this. I shall rest on this. And I went for another lap. And it went swimmingly, pun greatly intended. :) I do believe that God's principles of rest are divine and have supernatural power. But I also believe that God created the human body to perform and cope in remarkable ways. As soon as my brain understood that I am not building anything on my own accord, my body relaxed and gave in to that innate ability. The lactic acid did threaten to build up. But as I pulled onward, it passed. I knew my body circulation has finally broken through. 

I went for another 4 laps, and that totaled six. My arms and shoulders hadn't gotten quite strong enough to do more, but I achieved my goal of breaking through, increasing heart rate and getting the circulation going.

I was butt-kicked at Saturday morning's functional training session. Loved it! I had a good lunch, bought a pair of too-pink soft split-soled ballet shoes for under 10 dollars, and made my way to Singapore Dance Theatre's adults' open class. I had signed up for an 8 lesson package thinking to do as much classes as I could before flying out.

Piano music floating down the stairwell. Haunting familiarity.

I couldn't finish the class because by the time we got to jumps, my legs had started to hurt. I couldn't jump off my right leg and couldn't land on my left ankle. I definitely still had some work to do. But the class felt good. I feel like I am gaining back strength and control and I am much encouraged. 

But I recall something I had come to terms to some years ago, about why I was never delivered into a life of ballet. It's cos it actually bores me. Daddy God must've known. I had started to regret buying the 8 class package because I was already bored halfway through barre work! And I started to crave real dancing. The kind that doesn't care if you had a perfect arabesque or not. The kind that speaks volumes. 

Well, my body isn't ready for that kind of movement, so I know the journey's ahead and ballet will help me along it.

4 days later and I was regretting that 8 class package even more! My body was in so much pain from the swimming, the gymming and the dancing I had to forgo Tuesday night ballet class I had originally intended to squeeze in. But it was a good pain. I knew I was working my body right this time and I'm only getting stronger.

So I have only 1 more dance class before I fly out.