So I've been taking a while to snap out of this. But my dad hasn't been talking to me at dinners. We talk when we have to, like at work. But this saddens me because we had just been learning how to chat prior to this. It was nice to see my dad opening up and talking about all things with such positivity. I don't think I could have had a greater blessing than for God to restore our hearts and reconcile us.
But so this is the situation. I don't know what he's thinking. Or if I do, he doesn't seem to want me to get involved. And it has been hard going to work every day because I feel there's a deliberate shut out. Not necessarily against me, but against his own emotions. As if he's willing himself to keep going on now that he knows I'm no longer on board. I absolutely did not wish to see my white-haired father mustering up his energy again to journey on on his own.
There's this fatigue blanketing us. The more work decisions he makes now, the more I can't understand where he's going with it. I don't know how to proceed. Purposefulness - my fuel for the past months to work in a job I knew I was leaving behind, doesn't seem fuel enough now.
What can I do, but to continue to trust Him and wait on Him. My dad has a story that God wrote especially for him too. And it's a good story.
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