New York City

Ah, the Big Apple! First night I was here, I dumped my luggage at my host house and headed straight for Times Square. I walked around soaking in the sights and sounds as if they were new. I'd been here before, but this time it feels different.

11 years ago, I came to NYC to audition for the dance program at NYU. I didn't make the cut and spent the next 2years depressed and aimless. I had thought that that was my break, the gateway to the rest of my life. So I couldn't understand what my life was about when school and life in New York city didn't start. 

While walking through NoLita and SOHO, I came across the building I auditioned at. I remember the NYU flag as a little larger, grander; a symbol of higher status and self-approval. Now, it isn't. It's a flag on the side of a building, a mark for memory. And I reflected on my past experience here with a calmness. An understanding that good things... BETTER things had come to me by His hand. I had had time to repent and be renewed alone with God and away from these things. Now I only wait to be restored. How grand it would be for me to return to NYC to study DMT!

I had so much fun here and I am sooooo happy! From day to day, I made decisions purely on what I want to do. It may have sounded unnecessary, but I have seldom times felt so in my skin, so embodied and to be okay with enjoying myself this way. So much so that walking into a quiet little corner in Sephora, I suddenly felt overwhelmed and Felt like I might burst into tears! I guess, it is the gratitude for being able to do this, for all the sights, sounds, sensations, friendly strangers, and His joyful Presence that had been so constant throughout this trip. I had never felt bored, nor had fear and anxiety take over while I travelled alone.

Strangely, I have had no desire to dance here. I didn't even think to look for the studio, maybe to pop my head in for while? Nothin'. While here though, I did get news that I will be dancing at Bethel!!! I was so crazy excited I was insomniac for most of that night!

Towards the end of my stay in NYC I did begin to get a little over-stimulated. There was just a bit too much crowd, too much traffic noise, and too much foreign-ness. And I know this is because I had been staying at host houses since day one. I think it was a bit too much for me to handle because of the new environments, the politeness at using the bathroom, sharing fridge space and tip-toeing across creaky hallways at night. And also every household had a certain vibe that I took in, so I didn't have enough personal space to unload and wind down at the end of each day.

Next stop Redding!!